Homeostasis for the Holidays

It's not uncommon for people to experience they're lowest moment during the holiday season.  But, if you have noticed that it's difficult to get unstuck in a pit of painful emotions,  you may want to consider practicing these few tools.  ​

First,  notice when painful emotions arise.  Accept them and name them.  This does not mean approving of your painful experiences,  just acknowledging that they are in fact real.  Only then can you move further from them and closer to peace or calm.  

Try changing your body's homeostasis when you feel numb,  overwhelmed,  or angry.  If you are out and about, go to the nearest restroom and turn the cold faucet water on;  if you are at home,  grab a cold pack from the freezer or a cold wet cloth.  Change your temperature by placing the cool water, cold pack, or cloth on the warmest part of your body.  Just by noticing where the warmest part of your body exists in the current moment you will be providing a mindful distraction to yourself to cope with your pain.   If it is difficult to notice the warmest part of your body,  tip your temperature by placing cold water over your face and or neck.  Simultaneously,  notice the sensations change, including the rate of your breathing. 

When painful emotions are leading to a feeling of disconnect with others you may want to try returning that text you've been avoiding, or scheduling brunch or appetizers with others at least 1X/ weekly. If you believe you are too deeply wedded in your isolation, perhaps try talking about the weather with your grocery clerk or bank teller instead of using self check or the ATM outside the bank.  These small sensory steps can have a tremendous impact on the brain,  leading to a flow of healthy neurotransmitters right to your limbic system (the emotional house in your brain). 

If you find yourself caught up in old pain manifesting as resentment,  you may need to do some prep work before the holiday activity schedule is fully underway.  Resentment is an anger word.  So as you may have guessed,  anger can be a silent creeper and a loud explosion.  To avoid imploding inwards or exploding on others, first acknowledge the  emotional and physical damage (i.e. depression,  anxiety,  high blood pressure,  disturbed sleep) that holding on to your anger is doing to you. That's your part.  Then,  let go of expectations of others; they may not have been useful to you thus far.  Finally,  commit to being your best loving parent to yourself.  This means nourishing,  loving,  protecting,  encouraging, empathizing for yourself-- by yourself. So nourish yourself with safe gifts and rejuvenating activities. Love yourself with intensity and consistency.  Protect yourself by asserting your needs and limits.  Encourage yourself through positive self talk and hopefulness. Empathize with your history through forgiveness,  self compassion and nonjudgemental stances.  

It's nearly impossible to stay stuck every single moment during the aforementioned practices.   However,  it's not impossible to find yourself between the folds of living and feeling stuck after practice.  If this happens,  simply accept your position and then practice the skills over and over again.  Eventually,  you will train your brain to let go of the fears of what it means to be unstuck,  or the comforts of staying in the same old stuckness.  

Now take a moment to breathe in "WISE" and exhale "MIND." Choose the path that's most effective for you this holiday season.  

Wishing You Peace,  
Dr. Oshi-Ojuri

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Montana De Oro State Park 
Photo by OPP